ParkourDude91 is love, ParkourDude91 is life

ParkourDude91 is love, ParkourDude91 is a copypasta created by a true fan of the one and only ParkourDude91. It contains very well orchestrated poetry describing a sexual encouter with Jace "ParkourDude91" Connors and his custom made Deagle handgun.

Copypasta
==>I loved ParkourDude91 so much, I watched all his videos and vlogs >I pray to him every night before bed, thanking him for the videos I've been given >"ParkourDude91 is love" I say. "ParkourDude91 is life" >My dad hears me and calls me a faggot >I knew he was just jealous of my devotion for ParkourDude91 >I called him a muslim-terrorist >He slaps me and sends me to go to sleep >I'm crying now, and my face hurts >I lie in bed and it's really cold >A warmth is moving towards me >I feel something touch me >It's ParkourDude91 >I am so happy >He whispers into my ear, "this is my deagle" >He grabs me with his powerful navy seal hands and puts me on my hands and knees >I'm ready <span class="quote" style="color:rgb(181,189,104);font-family:arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:13px;line-height:normal;">>I spread my asscheeks for ParkourDude91 <span class="quote" style="color:rgb(181,189,104);font-family:arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:13px;line-height:normal;">>He penetrates my butthole with his deagle <span class="quote" style="color:rgb(181,189,104);font-family:arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:13px;line-height:normal;">>It hurts so much, but I do it for ParkourDude91 <span class="quote" style="color:rgb(181,189,104);font-family:arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:13px;line-height:normal;">>I can feel my ass tearing as my eyes start to water <span class="quote" style="color:rgb(181,189,104);font-family:arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:13px;line-height:normal;">>It's almost recoiless, since he had his deagle custom made <span class="quote" style="color:rgb(181,189,104);font-family:arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:13px;line-height:normal;">>I want to please ParkourDude91s deagle <span class="quote" style="color:rgb(181,189,104);font-family:arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:13px;line-height:normal;">>He roars out "I am not a muslim" as he fills my butt with special .70AE FAMAS bullets <span class="quote" style="color:rgb(181,189,104);font-family:arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:13px;line-height:normal;">>My dad walks in <span class="quote" style="color:rgb(181,189,104);font-family:arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:13px;line-height:normal;">>ParkourDude91 looks him straight in the eye and says, "You just messed with a future Navy SEAL" <span class="quote" style="color:rgb(181,189,104);font-family:arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:13px;line-height:normal;">>ParkourDude91 does a cartwheel as he leaves through my window <span class="quote" style="color:rgb(181,189,104);font-family:arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:13px;line-height:normal;">>ParkourDude91 is love, ParkourDude91 is life ==

tp in my bunghole

fak me so hard

Audio Version
A version of the copypasta in audio was created soon after and can be heard here: <span style="color:rgb(197,200,198);font-family:arial,helvetica,sans-serif;line-height:normal;">http://vocaroo.com/i/s1sJUmLcwe4L

Variants/Tributes
New versions of the copypasta:

>2015 innamuhrines >0311 >second korean war >my squad is pinned down theres nowhere to run >low on ammo >no point on calling for air support the norks are right in front of our face >thisishowidie.jpeg >m16 runs dry >look up and see a nork leveling his rifle pointing at me >two .50 cal slugs destroy his face >turn to my right >ITS A SPEC OP "Chyaah! Ha! PD the Parkourdude91! It's like, Chya! Ha!' >im saved Parkourdude91 is love Parkourdude91 is life >PD keeps slaying norks with his Deagle brand deagles >pick up a an AK form the enemy >PD tells me to get some rocks cuz that rifle was worthless >i decide to be a fool and not listend to his SPEC OP wisdom >norks show up out of nowhere >i shoulder my rifle and shoot but the rounds are coming out of the barrel at a 45* angle >i should've listend to PD91 Parkourdude91 is love Parkourdude91 is life >get shot by a nork sniper in the leg >PD starts to drop tangos while cartwhiling to my location >boner achieved >he picks me up without struggling at all >theres no way he learned that at SPEC OP training. he is a natural marine seal beret born to kill >he rushes to the enemy postion while carrying me and shooting his 2 Deagle brand deagles with one hand >he yells his battle cry "I AM NOT MUSLIM" >he uses the facts of the situation to destroy the norks >i should have watched his videos to be a better operator but /k/ kept saying he was autistic >i was a fool. >latter on i 420 with PD91 > its an honor Parkourdude91 is love Parkourdude91 is life